REMEMBERING

Here I am, tiptoeing through cyberspace, with millions of others. Alone in a crowd, nobody knows I'm here; noone is following me. Am I safe? How long is it since I felt safe? I can't remember.

I don't remember an October like this. It's snowing today and it's been snowing for a week. Will it ever quit? It all started in October. I used to look forward to October, that was my birthday month and special because my mother always made sure I had a birthday party. Her mother put on a birthday party for her 21st. birthday, the first one she ever had, and invited 100 people, at least so mom said. Mom always complained about that party, too many people, not really about her, but she always put on a birthday party for each of us and birthdays were very important to her.

It was the second month of my first (and only) year at university. I was taking a catch up course in High School French. Life was exciting and full of endless opportunity. I was putting myself through so I worked ten hours a week at the library for $1 an hour, cooked chicken noodle soup from chicken backs and wings, learned to eat lamb and fish, which were cheap and ate at the MUB once a week for $.40 (if you didn't buy the meat dish). Coffee at $.10 was a luxury (besides, I didn't drink coffee).

When a fellow student walked home with me from class and asked me out, I felt I had arrived. The storybooks I had devoured since I was a child were coming true. After a pleasant evening, he wanted to show me pictures of his family. I had never heard of pick-up lines and lying was a sin; the devil and his followers told lies and were easily recognizable by their unpleasant manners, horns and tail. Or were they?

Seems there is more than one kind of tail, liars can seem charming and "No means No!" wasn't enough. So ended the dream and began the nightmare.

That's enough remembering for one day, isn't it? It's still snowing.