Lame Ducks and Bullies

I always had a weakness for lame ducks, whether the animal kind or the human kind. Over the years, I have made many wonderful friends who were "different", who have enriched my life in many different ways. The lonely looking girl standing uncertainly by herself reminded me of times when I walked into a room of strangers and was welcomed and how good it made me feel so I tried to pass it on. The wounded chick had my sympathy when the other chicks tried to peck it to death and I fenced it off to protect it until it was healed.

Bullies have a weakness for lame ducks as well but not in a good way. On the defensive and afraid of being ostracized by their peers, they're the first to jump on the one who seems different and defenseless. And the bullied one in turn, passes it on and joins the bullies when the opportunity arises.

The damage done by bullies is never forgotten. The bully may forget but the bullied doesn't. The ability to trust others is lost for a lifetime when the bullies are members of one's own family during childhood years, a mother, a brother, a sister. Desperately wanting to belong, one day he hears "We love you" and the next day it's "Do as I say, or else" and "or else" has no limits of decency or common sense. Power and control are everything for the bully and he or she is forever fearful that what is being done to others will in turn come around to him or her.

Bullies only attack those who care, those who long for acceptance. Those who live by a different rule, who don't respect the bully's values or attitudes don't become victims of the bully but the bullied don't know that. And where should they find the courage to believe that if they lack the support of family, community and friends? The cycle perpetuates itself, generation after generation, and spreads its disease into the community when it is not recognized and stopped.

Bullying doesn't only hurt the bullied; it hurts all of us and creates an environment that is dangerous for everyone. The person who has been hurt, hurts himself or others, or both. We dream of a better world where trust, love and kindness are the rule and not the exception. Jesus said, "The gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life and those who find it are few." He also said, "The way is easy that leads to destruction and those who enter by it are many." The easy way, the bully's way, and the complicity of the bystander, is often the hard way in the end.

And the end comes for all of us.