Christmas has always been about excited children, gifts and a Christmas tree in our home. An abundance of candy and a big Christmas dinner were features added later to our celebrations. Intergenerational celebrations also became an intrinsic part of our traditions but as the older generation is slipping away, Christmas is going back to an emphasis on the little ones, as each of my families makes plans to celebrate Christmas in its own way. Piles of gifts, copious amounts of food, endless candy and sweets, these no longer excite me. Soft Christmas music, the twinkling treelights, children laughing and enjoying themselves, smiling friends and relaxed family members, these are the special things of Christmas for me now.
What are my memories? As a child, far from extended family, Christmas Day was always a bit of a downer. Early in the morning we opened our gifts, attended church service, had a cold lunch of pluma moos and buns and then were admonished to play quietly while mom and dad had a nap in the bedroom after a tiring month of preparing for the school and Sunday school Christmas festivities. Friends were visiting their grandparents and playing with their cousins but for us, no visiting was allowed because this was a family day and we were not part of any of the local families.
After I married, Christmas became the day for grandparents to indulge their grandchildren. The year I married, my youngest brother died and my other brother moved to England and so my children became the focus of Christmas for my parents. For them, there were decorations, cookies, candies, gifts, Christmas trees and plans that dated back to August of each year as my mother began her Christmas preparations. Christmas for my parents was synonomous with the presence of my children and so that became our annual Christmas tradition, our gift to my parents, as it were.
Until the year my father and my mother-in-law died and Christmas changed. No longer did we travel to my parents' home every Christmas; our home now became the meeting place as my mother and my husband's sister and husband became part of our new Christmas tradition. A big Christmas supper, piles of gifts that my mother and in-laws enjoyed watching the children open and lots of cookies and candies became essential to our Christmas celebrations.
Now, it's time for new traditions. We're giving Christmas back to the children to celebrate as they choose. The generation for whom Christmas was totally child centered is gone; piles of gifts and mountains of food for those who grew up doing without, will no longer be the highlight of our family Christmasses. Time to enjoy each others company, time to relax, sit back and just be - together with family, friends, whoever needs to be together at this time - that's going to be Christmas and perhaps it will end up being the nicest kind of Christmas yet. It will still be child centered, but the child will be the child born in Bethlehem, not the children of today whom we shower with things but hardly have time to be with and for. We only have time, and that is the most precious gift of all that we can give each other at Christmas. Merry Christmas to all!
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